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Longing, Loneliness & Love

If every relationship has a soundtrack
Then Bob Marley’s
I don’t want to wait in vain for your love
Was definitely the painful theme song for at least
 one of mine

As it has been  for many of my clients and friends
And as it has been, I’m pretty sure, for at least one of  yours too

And whether we were the ones waiting
Or  the ones being  waited on,

The achingly lonely place of
Wishing, waiting & longing
To be seen, known and accepted by another
Can be a pretty uncomfortable one to be in

As primal an urge as it is,
Setting out on the path of  love intimacy  and relationships
Is definitely not  simple, easy or always successful for everyone

And if we don’t  fully understand or acknowledge what we  really are longing for,
We’ll be repeatedly disappointed and heartbroken along the way  

Because strange as it may seem, 
Too often, whether we realise it or not,  
We ourselves are whom we really keep yearning for

We actually are often the ones whom we most long to be reassured  by
Of our very own commitment, acceptance and love
To, of and for, all the different parts within us
That make up the intriguing multi faceted individual that we are.

And often no rejection or disappointment cuts as deep as when we reject or disappoint ourselves
Because we keep abandoning ignoring or minimising certain  truths, values and needs

Or because we  keep  depriving ourselves of the  full attention
And unconditional acceptance that we so deeply  crave from others.

We  can be in a relationship with another and yet feel as lonely as hell
And we can also be alone but feel loved and securely anchored
Because we are so cohesively integrated
and comfortably at home within ourselves

This Valentines Day whether you happen to be in a romantic relationship  or not,
I’m inviting you spend some time deepening  the relationship that you have with yourself

Embrace and celebrate ALL the complex intriguing aspects of yourself 
And give a special  nod of acknowledgment to those  parts of you that tend to make you feel impatient, sad, fearful or embarrassed  in any way

Feel the fullness and multiplicity of all that you are

Each seemingly contradictory aspect of yourself has its own important role to play
And each is patiently waiting to be  seen, loved and understood by you

One pretty cool way of  ending loneliness and the  I don’t want to wait in vain  for your love pain
 Is  to  offer yourself  the heartwarming Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono.
 It’s a simple but powerful  prayer of  self love  that is beautifully  balanced and embracive in its approach.

Today might be a  a good day to try repeating it sincerely, repeatedly  and mindfully to yourself.

 Notice what impact  it has
Or what intimate & honest inner dialogue it might spark.

Here are its  4 simple lines:

I’m sorry
Please forgive me
I thank you 
I love you

Happy Valentines Day



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