What Your Envy, Jealousy & Resentment Really Want You To Know… And Do.

It can be pretty embarrassing to admit to feeling envy, jealousy or resentment towards someone else

Based on what they are doing

Or achieving

Or how they’re actually being as a person.


And yet embarrassment or self condemnation aside,

The honest awareness and acknowledgement of these feelings

Might well be the wisest of messengers

And most valuable  of guides on your journey throughout this new year.


If. you. let. them.
 
Here’s why.

 
Underneath the wistful pangs of wishing we were more like another person

Or behind  the sharp fiery nudges  from resentment and  envy

Lies  crucial information about what we  really would like more  of in our lives.


And if we focus too much on the uncomfortable embarrassment  of our feelings

Or  on the  person  who has provoked those feelings

Or if we get  caught up in the  addictive dance of “comparisonitis”

Where our mind readily trots out ALL the reasons

Why we can’t have, do, or be like the other person,

We will, more likely than not,

Miss the actual message

Behind both the medium and the unwitting messenger.

 
So, here’s my suggestion.

 
Forget about the other person per se
And drill down instead
To the activities or attitudes that have provoked these feelings in you.


 
Behind your  Resentment lies your unmet expectations and unfulfilled needs.

And behind  Envy lies a clear clarion call of some pleasure you too are  being pulled towards.

And while it might be easier to blame life, or another,

Or yourself, your  personality  or your lack of resources

It’s actually  never the wisest or kindest  thing to do.

 
Here’s why.
 

From my own personal dance with resentment, “comparisonitis” and envy

As well as from professionally observing others walk  that unpleasant, thorny path,

What I know,  and can tell you

Is  that nothing is as  exhausting,  energy  draining, or pleasure repelling

As the mind’s insistence that the provision of what you want is beyond your reach

Or that it is  the responsibility of someone else  to provide it

Or that to  actually step up and  give yourself what you desire

Will either take waaay too much effort,  energy or money

Or, will in some way, let someone else off the hook.


 
We  often forget  however

That  in resentfully refusing to release another from what we deem to be  their duty & obligation

 We often  keep ourselves  painfully hooked and deprived as well.

 
And so

My wish for you  more than anything else this year,

Is that you stop watching, wishing and waiting
 
And that you instead give yourself the pleasure, power and pride

That  will all naturally arise when you proactively decide to

 “Do all that you can, with what you have, right where you are”.


I know that moving from the sidelines of  wanting on to the path of action

Isn’t always comfortable or easy at all.

Trust me I know that very well.

And yet  I also know  that difficult doesn’t mean impossible.

And that small starter steps 

Though they may seem insignificant

Can gather  surprising, unexpected momentum later down the road.



I also know that taking action doesn’t mean you have to take that action all alone

Support exists for those willing and ready to ask for it

So reach out.

Sometimes the very person you silently envy is more than willing to share what they know with you.


 I hope 2022 will be the  year you  stop being  ashamed or paralysed by your envy, resentment or  jealousy

And that  it will turn out to be the  year  that you  start transforming those uncomfortable feelings

Into something beautiful , meaningful and inspiring in your own  life  instead.