If every relationship has a soundtrack
Then Bob Marley’s
I don’t want to wait in vain for your love
Was definitely the painful theme song for at least
one of mine
As it has been for many of my clients and friends
And as it has been, I’m pretty sure, for at least one of yours too
And whether we were the ones waiting
Or the ones being waited on,
The achingly lonely place of
Wishing, waiting & longing
To be seen, known and accepted by another
Can be a pretty uncomfortable one to be in
As primal an urge as it is,
Setting out on the path of love intimacy and relationships
Is definitely not simple, easy or always successful for everyone
And if we don’t fully understand or acknowledge what we really are longing for,
We’ll be repeatedly disappointed and heartbroken along the way
Because strange as it may seem,
Too often, whether we realise it or not,
We ourselves are whom we really keep yearning for
We actually are often the ones whom we most long to be reassured by
Of our very own commitment, acceptance and love
To, of and for, all the different parts within us
That make up the intriguing multi faceted individual that we are.
And often no rejection or disappointment cuts as deep as when we reject or disappoint ourselves
Because we keep abandoning ignoring or minimising certain truths, values and needs
Or because we keep depriving ourselves of the full attention
And unconditional acceptance that we so deeply crave from others.
We can be in a relationship with another and yet feel as lonely as hell
And we can also be alone but feel loved and securely anchored
Because we are so cohesively integrated
and comfortably at home within ourselves
This Valentines Day whether you happen to be in a romantic relationship or not,
I’m inviting you spend some time deepening the relationship that you have with yourself
Embrace and celebrate ALL the complex intriguing aspects of yourself
And give a special nod of acknowledgment to those parts of you that tend to make you feel impatient, sad, fearful or embarrassed in any way
Feel the fullness and multiplicity of all that you are
Each seemingly contradictory aspect of yourself has its own important role to play
And each is patiently waiting to be seen, loved and understood by you
One pretty cool way of ending loneliness and the I don’t want to wait in vain for your love pain
Is to offer yourself the heartwarming Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono.
It’s a simple but powerful prayer of self love that is beautifully balanced and embracive in its approach.
Today might be a a good day to try repeating it sincerely, repeatedly and mindfully to yourself.
Notice what impact it has
Or what intimate & honest inner dialogue it might spark.
Here are its 4 simple lines:
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
I thank you
I love you
Happy Valentines Day